You are currently browsing John Van Pay's articles.
Not gonna to lie. Saturday’s Love in Action event was a GFC top 4 moment! You worked your tails off and I’ve never been so thankful and proud of my sisters and brothers. I can remember our city mayor telling me to scale back our projects because “not very many folks show up after they sign up”. It was a great testimony to see 95% of our 139 registered volunteers demonstrate the love of Christ for a day. Check out our local newspaper’s front page article by clicking here.
I was asked “why” a lot of people volunteered on Halloween. Because churches should be the one place where we feel as if we are a part of something greater. Because it will never be about us. Because we are lazer focused on a mission. Because we consider it a high honor to follow Jesus’ example to humble ourselves and serve others. I appreciate every single one of you for getting that!
Here are my favorite moments of the day:
1. Emily Cass taking one for the team by not getting a t-shirt or breakfast so she could welcome guests to our free yard sale.
2. The band set up and played two songs with passion and excellence in spite of frozen fingers.
3. The Blend. A dream came true when I watched my 77 year old friend Dotty work along side my 8 year old daughter and a man who makes 6 figures assemble playground equipment with a teenager who makes minimum wage.
4. A mother standing on top of a really tall ladder to paint the LABI chapel while making sure her sons below were keeping the stage carpet clean.
5. A team of amazing guys worked over time to move a family in need. BTW, several of her friends, neighbors, and family were in church on Sunday!
6. A team of volunteers took more care planting flowers in beds at Helotes Elementary School that seemed more special than if they were planted at their own homes.
7. College students getting out of bed at 6 am on a Saturday morning! Who does that?
What moment stood out to you?
While studying a passage of scripture for an upcoming message, my eyes fell on a section of Luke 14 – The Cost of being a Disciple. As I read this familiar scripture with fresh eyes, truth became very real to me. It is interesting that Jesus wasn’t focused on growing an already large crowd that followed him. Perhaps he discerned their motives for a big show. Another blind guy healed. Anticipating Jesus to top the rumors of his latest water walking performance. He cut to the chase and taught about discipleship fully knowing that many would walk away. Those who continued to follow, would discover five high expectations regarding discipleship.
1. Greater love and unwaivering loyalty
A large crowd was following Jesus. He turned around and said to them, 26 “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple.
2. Willing to suffer and be persecuted
27 And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.
3. Understanding of the cost to finishing
28 “But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? 29 Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you. 30 They would say, ‘There’s the person who started that building and couldn’t afford to finish it!’ “Or what king would go to war against another king without first sitting down with his counselors to discuss whether his army of 10,000 could defeat the 20,000 soldiers marching against him? 32 And if he can’t, he will send a delegation to discuss terms of peace while the enemy is still far away.
4. Total Surrender
33 So you cannot become my disciple without giving up everything you own.
5. Compromising Christ followers not only hurt the church, but the world.
“Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? 35 Flavorless salt is good neither for the soil nor for the manure pile. It is thrown away. Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand!” Luke 14:25-35
It is challenging to grab hold of discipleship. It is human nature to resist what confronts our selfishness. But for those who embrace Jesus’ bold teaching, a vessell can be trusted to make an incredible kingdom difference. I’m thankful that Jesus wasn’t lip service only. He modeled every word and my prayer for us is that we will follow suit.
This morning I met with the Helotes Elementary School principle regarding our L.I.A. projects. She said, “Wow. A church has never does this for us before.” I felt guilty not only because we should have stepped up before this, but also because of her perceived shock. Do others in our community feel the same way? What if churches served more so this becomes expected behavior? Over 70 volunteers from our church have registered to serve our zipcode on Oct 31. We will meet for a free breakfast and t-shirt at City Hall around 7:30 am, sing with our live band, then disperse.
We will paint a chapel for a local bible college, install mini blinds in an educational building, stain the decking and landscape at HES, and assemble playground equipment and a disc golf course for our city. We are also sponsoring a free yard sale for those in need!
If you have not registered and interested in joining us, please click this link for easy online registration.
Reading a book is having fellowship with an author. It becomes more personal when you hear from them in person. Four of our pastors spent a couple of days at Catalyst 09 praying, planning our 2010 GFC calendar, and soaking in from some of the greatest voices of our generation.
Andy Stanley
-You will not recognize your greatest accomplishment or failure until long after you are gone.
-Am I willing to submit my leadership gift to a larger story?
-You can’t lead in authority unless you are under authority.
Malcom Gladwell
-In times of crisis we think we need bold decision making. We really need is humility.
-A sign of arrogance is when you stop listening to those around you.
Rob Bell
-Bigger is not always better.
-Do you take care of yourself so you can be fulfilled with energy, vitality and do more than next year?
-Have you been observing a Sabbath?
-Does your spouse get your very best or your scraps after you gave your best to the church? Your spouse will be there at the end of the journey.
-If it is going well with the church, but not going well with your family it is not going well.
-Our children pick up what really matters to us with out us saying a word.
Tony Dungy
-My job as a coach is to help players be the best they can be on the field and best men off the field.
Matt Chandler
-A lack of gratitude of who God how God made us and coveting to be someone else is a sin.
Dave Ramsey
-When you have momentum, you look better than you are. When you don’t have momentum, you ARE better than what you look.
-Focused Intensity, over time, multiplied by God, equals unstoppable momentum.
Chuck Swindoll
-When God wants to do an impossible task, he will take an impossible person and crush him.
10 Things I have learned about Leadership almost 50 years in
1. Lonely to Lead
2. Dangerous to succeed
3. It’s hardest at home
4. It’s essential to real
5. Painful to obey
6. Brokenness and failure are necessary
7. My attitude is more important than my actions.
8. Integrity eclipses image.
9. God’s way is better than my way.
10. Christ-likeness begins and ends with humility
5 Statements worth remembering during next 50 years
1. Whatever you do, do more with others and less alone.
2. Whenever you do it, emphasize quality not quantity
3. Wherever you go, do it the same as if you were among those who know you best.
4. Whoever may respond, keep a level head.
5. However long you lead, keep on dripping with gratitude and grace.
Louie Giglio
-Leadership is all about knowing and following Jesus.
Josh Hamilton
-No matter how far you go down, there is always a way back up through Jesus.
An in-depth study of the beatitudes has blown my mind. Not only is the intro to the greatest sermon ever taught a beautiful landscape for spiritual transformation, but a blue print for leadership. Leaders who yield totally to Jesus will simply lead more like him. Not rock science. The greatest model is John the Baptist. When his ministry was hi-jacked by Jesus and his fan club left him, he didn’t pout or get selfish. He replied…
“A man can receive only what is given him from heaven. You yourselves can testify that I said, ‘I am not the Christ but am sent ahead of him.’ The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. He must become greater; I must become less. John 3:27-30
NEVER forget that your leadership and ministry will always flow out of your personal relationship with Christ. When your relationship is healthy, these will be signs from the Beatitiudes fleshed out:
Poor In Spirit – completely dependent on Jesus, no confidence in self alone, understands role as child of God, team player
Mourn – sensitive to sin issues for oneself and others
Humble – defers praise, notices the least important in a room, quiet confidence, welcomes correction in love
Hungry - passionate, teachable, reads for growth,
Merciful – easly and quickly forgives others, generous, grateful
Pure in Heart – high character, not jealous, gives benefit of the doubt
Peacemaker – serve others and bring peace in a broken world, never too high or too low
Persecuted – bold in sharing Jesus, soul winner, risk taker
From my limited thoughts, what am I missing that you could add?
During our Beatitude series, I have thought about Jesus’ teaching in relation to leadership. There is no doubt that each of them are non-negotiables to someone who leads. We should grow to be more Christ dependent. The alternative is being a self dependent and insecure leader. Even pride is a mask for insecurity and a terrible recipe for leadership. Insecure leaders are a detriment to themselves and to the ministry they lead. They place their followers in jeopardy, they place their organization in danger, and they even place themselves in a no win situation. Insecurity causes the leader to think only of himself and the very essence of leadership is others! As I laid in bed last night, these were the signs of an insecure leader that came to my mind which inspired this blog:
Signs of an Insecure Leader
Don’t ask for help
Controlling
Keeps info
Threatened by the success of others
Lid to the growth of the organization
Spin stories to make themselves look better
Easily offended
Compare themselves to others
Don’t ask for feedback
Resists criticism and evaluation
Name dropper
Assert themselves to the center of attention
Makes sure everyone knows about personal accomplishments
Begs to be noticed and heard
Withdraws if ideas are not implemented
Crisis driven
Emotional
Needy
Unhappy with out tons of appreciation
Saul is a great example of a leader who started out with the right motives, but morphed into an insecure leader and became unfit to lead. Then Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the LORD and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice. But Samuel said to Saul, “I will not return with you, for you have rejected the word of the LORD, and the LORD has rejected you from being king over Israel.” 1 Samuel 15:24, 26
May this passage be a sober reality check for each of us. There is a lot of tension between insecure and secure leaders. Somewhere in the grey area between these two camps is the voice of Jesus calling us to follow him as a servant leader. We all must wrestle with it every day as we deny ourselves and put to death the flesh that screams for attention. It is a process, but at the end of the day I hope more attention is given to Jesus than ourselves. Only when we are fully dependent on him, will he trust us to be a conduit for his love and power as we lead others.
I look forward to reflecting on the signs of a secure leader in Jesus and post some thoughts in the next few days.
What are your thoughts? Have you struggled with this like me?
A few days ago I taught on the topic of church planting in Corpus Christi at a ministry training seminar. I accepted the invitation with the knowlege that I could bring my family along. I was able to turn a two day trip away from my family to an exciting excursion that we could do together. We checked our girls out early from school and found a secluded place at the beach to play at for several hours. When I caught them in the act of laughing, I asked them how many of their friends got to skip a half day of school to play in the ocean and jump on hotel beds. Emma said she is lucky to be a p.k.
During high school, I attended a preacher’s kid retreat. I looked forward to meeting other students who grew up in the fishbowl. I was surprised by how many kids resented their dad being in ministry and their lifestyles revealed full blown rebellion. I’m thankful to my parents for not sacrificing me at the altar of ministry. Yes, I saw some tough stuff, but their attitude helped me to keep everything in the right perspective.
Now that I am on the other side and raising my kids up while leading a church, I have given a lot of thought to the challenge. Here are my tips for avoiding pk casualities.
Swiss Family Robinson
Starting GFC has been the most exciting adventure I have ever been a part of. The first several months were demanding on our schedule, bank account, and relationships. From day one, our kids understood that this wasn’t dad the church planter, but Van Pay’s the church planting family. One of my favorite memories happened when we walked into our local gas station and HG asked the smoking employee standing outside what her name was. She took out her note pad wrote her name down so she could remember it and pray for later. I was most pleased that she wasn’t freaked out by our new friend’s habit.
Family Nights
When I read where Craig Groeschel spent a minimum of five nights at home weekly, I gave myself permission to not feel guilty for making my family the priority. As a people pleaser, it is so difficult to say “No”. We are at a place in our journey where there is no way we can accept every invitation for dinner or birthday party. My responsibility is to make sure my family and church family love Jesus and grow in their faith, not necessarily be every one’s closest friend. My favorite night of the week is board game night. I am currently on a losing streak in Monopoly even though I’m the banker. 
Final Verdict
I always try to ask for my family’s opinon to some church decisions. They feel honored and embrace ownership when they know the lead pastor is listening to their thoughts on a variety of issues.
See no evil, Talk no evil
When dealing with difficult issues, I have to be careful to protect my kids. The last thing I want is for them to pick up an offense. A challenge of mine is to protect with out sheltering.
Talk up the Carrot
We start months in advance talking about all the fun we will get to have on our next trip or vacation. They get more excited when they are part of the research and choose an activity. The anticipation builds every time we talk about it and it becomes a great incentive during demanding seasons in ministry or when I’m gone.
Many times I have to pinch myself because of the honor my Lord and church have given me to pastor. I would do it for free if I could and never dreamed it would be so enjoyable. I am head over hills in love with the bride of Christ. My prayer is that my kids will some day feel the same way.
How do you keep a healthy family environment with the ongoing demands of your job?
Raising my daughers has been one of the greatest joys in my life, but it is mixed with a HUGE responsibility. This year, I am making an intentional effort to disciple my 10 year old Hannah Grace and will do the same thing with Emma next year. We are going through a guide that helps her grow in her faith, but we are also spending experiences, devotional, and relational time too. My goal is to train her with principles found in scripture so her dependence will move from me to God.
During vacation, we stood in line for a roller coaster. Two guys were behind us and I tried my best to protect them from what I sensed, but HG saw them kiss and it was over. She began to cry and nervously pop her knuckles. It was a moment I dreaded as a father, but knew it was time to address. She watched me as I talked to the guys about our beliefs and request to show affection, then HG, Emma, and I prayed together. For nine months, I have been waiting to have the sex talk with her, but have been putting it off. It will be special as I have a general plan, but still very much open to suggestions if you have already had the “talk”. I want her to hear it from us as parents before anyone else. I have thought about getting a piece of jewlry as we talk about what God feels is best for her. I want to protect her, but not shelter her from this world. Last week, I read this stat in the USA Today last week:
Childhood: Too much, too soon?
Nearly 6 in 10 moms say children are growing up too fast because parents:
1. Allow internet use without supervision – 75%
2. Dress kids in age inappropriate clothing – 74%
3. Over-schedule kids’ lives – 63%
4. Give kids cellphones – 59%
I encourage you as a parent to take a hard look at the stats and ask the Lord to lead you to what is best for your family. After fourteen years in student ministry, I’m convinced that today’s 11 year old acts like a 14 year old ten years ago. Here is our approach to the above:
1. No internet with out supervision. Parents please consider the dangers of allowing your kid to have cable or internet in their bedroom. Put it in a visible place, get filters, and discuss the why’s with them.
2. I remember when the new dolls started to come with less clothing than was in an asprin bottle. School clothes shopping wasn’t that bad because we have taught modesty from the beginning. I’m sure it won’t get easier.
3. Today, there are too many kid centered marriages and weekly schedules can’t keep up with school, sports, and church. Our kids choose one sport or activity per semester.
4. No cell phones or even Facebook even though many of their peers have them now.
My main concern is that we as parents comitt the sin of omission. We neglect our repsonsibility to spiritually disciple and equip our children until it is too late. We can’t leave it to the kids or youth pastor, but realize it can be the greatest gift we give our kids. Click here to read this powerful scripture.
We started a tradition last year for me to take my girls on a date to La Madeline’s for lunch on the Sunday before they start school. I can tell they are growing up by all of the questions they are now asking. Sunday night, HG was very nervous as she laid in bed because of her first day at Helotes Elementary School. I felt the Holy Spirit urge me to help her understand her mission to be salt and light on her campus. I challenged her to look for one new student in her class to be a friend to. Yesterday afternoon, she called me up to tell me about her new friend that moved here six weeks ago from China and lives in our neighborhood. She ate lunch with her and became her partner in P.E. even after telling her other friends no. At the end of the day, Mr. T compimented her for giving her extra attention and asked her to continue because it was making a difference. I wish you could hear the excitement in her voice as she got IT. The Lord was using her and I can’t remember a time I was more proud of my daughter.
HG, when you are big enough to read and discover this email, know that your daddy loves you so much and I pray daily that your better Father’s hand of protection, love, and wisdom be with you as you grow into the fine young lady you are becoming. I’m proud to be your dad!
What are your concerns as a parent? What is greatest challenge and how do you deal with it?
We are slowing way down and spending 8 weeks to focus on 12 verses in Jesus’ greatest sermon ever taught (my opinion). This Sunday we will begin the most anticipated series yet for one huge reason. We are inviting you to join us in our study of the Bible before we even teach it with the goal of learning from each other and answering questions we bring to church. Our desire is for our Sunday morning experience to be participation driven instead of spectator driven. Imagine Christ followers captivated by the same passages of scripture during the week as the Holy Spirit reveals deeper truths for personal growth and transformation!
We have set the table by talking too much about twitter (it isn’t too late for Drew to lead you step by step by clicking here) and teaching how to walk with Jesus on your own. You simply can’t grow with out studying your Bible consistently. The method we are using to study the Bible over the next several weeks is called topical. It is different than the book method where we focused on studying one chapter of the book of the Bible we went through. The topical method is the most fascinating of all the methods because it is a great way to go through the entire Bible and find what it has to teach on that topic. A pastor friend of mine once said that he studied the word “grace” in this way. Day after day he went through the Bible studying what it had to say about grace. As the Biblical truth and the Holy Spirit unfolded it before his mind, his heart began to burn. He got up from his table, grabbed on to the first person he met, and said do you know grace? Grace who was the reply. The grace of God that brings salvation. Then he passionately talked about the topic. Every week, you will be encouraged to study one beatitude before we teach it on Sunday.
My advice is to crack open your Bible to Matthew 5 and read the entire chapter, but then come back to verse 3. Ask yourself and the Holy Spirit what Jesus meant to be “poor in spirit”. Look at your notes in your study bible, google it, and check out a concordence and look up every passage that has the word in it. If you want to get really crazy, order the BEST software on the market – Logos. I use Logos and my study time has never been the same. Call Logos in person and the guys should give you 25% off.
After studying the first beatitude this weekend, bring your study notes and questions in your journal to church. You will be given opportunities to twitter during the teaching as we learn from each other. If you think Twitter is stupid or of the devil, you won’t feel left out because you will always be able to comment on our communication card.
Have you ever returned from vacation more exhausted than when you left? That used to be us. We had to make the most of our time in a new city by filling the schedule with every activity planned months in advance. This time around we left time and space for spontaneity. We pre-purchased only two days in the Orlando parks. The remaining days we did whatever came from momentary impulses. We rested, laughed, and enjoyed each more than I can remember.
As our vacation comes to an end, our family is debriefing our favorite memories created together. Interestingly, no one mentioned the mouse or where he lived. Crazy as it sounds, but we never even saw him.
HG and Emma – Finding sand crabs and dollars at Coco Beach.
Bryce – Discovering pirates in the trees while we played min golf at Pirate’s Golf.
Steph – Laughing about the not so small strand of hair we found in our bread at a restaurant.
My top 3:
1. Walking around Uno’s Pizzeria with Bryce as we searched for new water features to throw rocks in.
2. Reading Luke, In the Name of Jesus, and Life of Jesus by the pool most mornings.
3. Walking through the lobby and overhearing a single mom tell her boys that real men don’t have to drink or smoke. After trying to ignore what I heard, but unwilling to drive away; I returned to reinforce the desperation I heard in mom’s voice. Even though it was Sunday and I was on vacation, I felt the Holy Spirit coarsing through my spiritual veins as I did my best to share Jesus with this precious family.
I loved the slowed down time spent with Jesus and my family. I learned that when we don’t rush or over plan our days, we create time and space for spontaneous memories that are often the highlights. Less pressure equaled less emotional anxiety and more rest.
I’m interested to hear your favorite moment from vacation this year?
